i am getting married and it has been LONG awaited.
there has never been a more incredible, beautiful, perfect woman created–and luckily–I was blessed with my rarity: Brittany.
she is the love of my life and I do not deserve her.
i met her october 18 2008, we started dating july 17 2009, we became engaged october 22 2011, and we are getting married june 17 2012. the only thing that could possibly make this better is if we had already gotten married yesterday.
vi.xvii.xii.
The human mind is an extremely powerful and potent force. The mind, when wielded with a precise and intent purpose, can push the body into an extreme state of responsive overactivity. The mind will always give up before the body does. The mind’s failure is decided by the individual behind it. One must tap into his mind so that he might properly control his body. I, of course, am applying and utilizing this type of mental approach to bodybuilding. God created the mind and the body, and he enabled them to both be pushed to limits beyond comprehension. Unfortunately, most people never get to experience the benefits of harnessing the mind because they lack the discipline required to channel it. This discipline is acquired over time, and once obtained; it can be tapped into again and again.
“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
I believe that one’s inner physique in the outward manifestation of his inward determination. I conceived my idea and I believe it to be possible–and I will achieve my goal.
I am one of the few. I chose this path and it chose me. I pay my dues. I am part of a brotherhood of iron and I am a proud member. Yeah, it’s hard. Yeah, it’s painful. I don’t train for exercise, to meet chicks, or to talk to you about what you saw on t.v. last night. There isn’t any room for complaints or distractions.
People say I’m obsessed, but obsessed is what lazy people call the dedicated.
this is animal.
this is me.
I believe that the time has come. to talk of many things (Of shoes and ships and sealing wax…). There are more important things, I’m afraid, than cabbages and kings. Lately I have desired a recording session in which I would like to permeate my voice on some matters of importance. Hopefully, once in the recording process, I will begin to function with familiarity. I would very much enjoy recording an entire EP over the next 30 days. It’s time for me to lose myself and vanish with the haze.
passing through briefly::me
The time has come– once again. The epic tone-hunt that fills so many musicians lives graces my road once more. I plug in my guitar and I expect my amp to produce the distinct sounds and ideas that I have inside my head– it, however, does not. My mind has a much better musical vocabulary than both my fingers and my equipment. *Equipment (the word) is so unromantic. There is nothing about that word that actually expresses what can be done with the items that it (the word) describes. Sadly, language is a hindrance to the ideas that I would like to convey. I wish that I were more articulate so that I might be able to express my thoughts and feelings the way a writer would but, unfortunately, I am not a writer.*
I hope to spend much time inside of my current tone to see if I might prescribe a solution. Tone is the delve of a lifetime, however, I am determined to be someone who discovers it and its place in my world (relatively soon). I think one of the only ways to discover said tone is to record and capture the musical moment. I am not a sound engineer so my recordings may go poorly, however, the point is to capture the tone that I produce.
Recording: my next venture in my quest for tone. I hope to leave earth for the fourth dimension very, very soon.
seeking the hidden tone-rich sounds that reside inside of:: me
John Frusciante spoke of a place where he ventures to write. play. think. meditate. create. He said that this place was full of energy and full of insight. This is a place of colorful peace and manifested love. This place is an actual, tangible destination but cannot be found on any map. This place isn’t controlled by reason, logic, or rationality. This is a place where the gravitational pull isn’t strictly enforced (or adhered to). This is a place that has no order. This is a place where the grass is a color and the skies are embodied in a shape. This is a place where sound is palpable. This is the fourth dimension.
Those who frequently sojourn there don’t desire to depart, however, the exhibitionists (who have heard of its fire and puissant power) aimlessly roam- in attempt to locate it. Its coordinates, though not hidden, can only be found by those who zealously seek it.
It’s location is inscribed into the heat of every tube and into the shrill pitch of every bend. It is the origination of creativity and the breeding place of greatness. It is a place of uninhibited freedom and expression. Once one channels his way into it, he can encounter Music: the entity. She is passionate and she is volatile. She is tantalizing. enticing. tempting. alluring. captivating. She whispers into the ears of those who have not yet contemplated sound or the wondrous arena that she facilitates. I eagerly search so that I might sojourn in her presence. I stumble over the fallen ones who never found her and I rummage and sift through the the documentation of her whereabouts. However, she can’t be described with a pen and cannot be found with a compass. This path I shall continue no longer; for it does not lead to her. I will resume my search, taking a different approach. She’s worth the pursuit. I forage, for she is my food and my drink, and I am ravenous with desire.
After encountering her, everything that one creates lingers. breathes. remains. is. The creation is a pure, organic piece that lacks nothing because it was created within a realm of passion by those who fervently desire its perfection (However, the individual is the least important aspect of the entire process). This is where I yearn to dwell.
drifting into the fourth dimension::me
As of recently, I have been pouring over the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ record Blood, Sugar, Sex, Magik. I have been amazed every single time but within the past two weeks; I have a novel appreciation. It was recorded in a Californian mansion and lacks all of the creative hindrances that a studio record would provide.
The stereotypical studio setting is so artificial and has a dearth of authenticity. The difference between this and recording in a house is astronomical. House recordings are genuine. The musician’s expression is truer. All of his tools are at his disposal. He can wake up. Record. Think. Walk around. Record. Scream. Record. Write. Eat. Record. Leave. Come back. Record. Eat. Record. Make a call. Have an idea. Record. Write. Sleep. Wake up. Stumble around. Wake up the other members. Share thoughts. Freestyle. Record. Record. Record. Eat breakfast. Sleep.
I desire such freedom in music. I yearn to have the organic tools of time, volume, and creativity at my disposal. Perhaps, one day. Perhaps. Until then, I’ll be floating downstream.
Love, me
This weekend, on my way to pick up some items from the store, I got in a wreck. The damage wasn’t severe, however, my car did need to be towed. Unfortunate. I called the police and they said they would arrive in about 45 minutes. They did. I left my vehicle and stood outside in the snow for about three hours. It was great. I really felt. The shoes that I was wearing had holes in them and the jeans that I was wearing were mutilated. I am constantly reminded of those who have less than I. Most.
I was really, really cold. It was snowing fairly hard. There is a dearth of compassion within me and I havn’t done the very things I’m supposed to be doing- the things I have suggested. A coat in that situation provides extraordinary warmth. I was so thankful for mine. However, I couldn’t help but think- “Someone else needs this way more than I…especially tonight.” I wish I could say that I did something about that.
Love: it changes people. Use it.
Love, me
I feel that I can relate to Jesus’ disciples extremely well. Unfortunately, it isn’t because of there great faith or love for the Creator of the universe. I relate to the moments where they struggle. Hurt. Fall. Doubt. When they are ridden with overwhelming, excruciating guilt because of the glorious, brilliant, powerful beam of holiness that is Jesus Christ.
“But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, ‘Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!’ ” – Luke 5:8
This is the current sensation that brings me to my knees. I need to rearrange priorities. “He must increase, I must decrease” John 3:30
Pray for your brothers in Christ this week. They need it.
Love, me
The thought of people sleeping on the street has lingered within and has been weighing heavily on my heart. I feel actual anguish when I see people having to live like that. Anguish. Too many see pictures that the media produces and are desensitized to the actual suffering. I can’t wait any longer. I’m going to do something about it this weekend. I have too. People aren’t supposed to have an inward struggle comparing the comfort level of a park bench and the grass adjacent to it.
Love, me
